Dreamy Poet

Poetry by Kavya Janani. U
Anti-Vitae – List Poem

Anti-Vitae – List Poem

Anti-Vitae
(after Chelsey Minnis)

1994

Didn’t even whimper. They had to smack my ass thrice to make me cry

1995

Became the butt of all the slim-shaming jokes by the neighborhood aunties

1997

Became the reason for a hand fan’s death. It met my thigh and then broke into two because I didn’t listen to my mom’s warnings

1999

Termed a thief for taking my crush’s English notebook and hiding it inside my bag

2001

Kicked out of a dance performance for revealing our song to the other group

2002

Missed initiating a friendship with him when I had the knack of becoming friends with other boys

2003

Rammed my bicycle into a stranger’s bike and bruised my elbows

2004

Forgot to tell my best friend how much he meant to me

Forgot the lyrics to a Carnatic song I was singing on the stage

Failed to get admission to ‘the best school’ in our locality

2005

Crushed on a jackass who’d later ruin me

Missed keeping track of the date of my second period and stained my white skirt in school which was noticed by the guy sitting behind me who tapped on my shoulder and told me about the stain casually

Became a victim of bullying because I lied to my classmates that I had split personality disorder

2006

Became infatuated with a boy who was my best friend’s crush

Sang terribly on stage due to a bad throat and cried for hours later

2007

Got into a puppy-love relationship with that jackass who broke my heart a few months later and who’d ruin me a few years later

Failed to impress a show’s organizers with my singing, though the judges were impressed

2009

Left Bharatanatyam

2010

Fell for an emotionally manipulative guy

Didn’t listen to my friends who were against my relationship with the aforementioned guy

2011-2015

Didn’t listen to my heart

Got into a serious relationship with that jackass who ruined me

Reduced myself to a damp squib

Failed to realize my potential

Didn’t put my talents to proper use

Lost touch with playing the keyboard

Made the most fucking blunder of my life

2016

Got married

2017-2019

Couldn’t save myself

2020

Didn’t take therapy when I needed it the most

2021

Received a lot of rejection emails from poetry magazines

Didn’t realize what the universe was trying to show me

2022

Told that I was leading a tasteless life by someone I love. I am silent because it’s the truth.

©Kavya Janani. U


If you are in love with my poems, please consider purchasing a copy of my poetry collection – La Douleur Exquise.

You can check out my other list poems here: List Poems by Kavya Janani. U

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Dreamy Poet